by Brooke Palmer
Embedded within women’s history month is International Women’s Day on March 8, which aims to recognize and celebrate what women globally achieve in relation to economics and culture (social and political). Since the beginning of March, while reflecting on the purpose of International Women’s Day, I’ve thought a lot about the global need to support the financial empowerment of women toward equality with men. But to strengthen the argument that others should invest in women, we can—and should—do better at investing in ourselves.
As females in the United States, and ostensibly many other places around the world, we are bombarded with consumer messaging that targets girls and women by playing up to one piece of power that gender-unequal societies allow for us: our looks, our beauty. Before women could vote, before women had equal access to employment opportunities, one way women were able to foster some semblance of influence was through physical expression. If we were not invited to have our voices heard, still we could be seen. And the emphasis on women’s (and girls’) looks still holds much sway in our cultures today, to the extent of our faces still matter more than our brains, our clothing matters more than our knowledge, our bodies are sexualized, fetishized, and used as competition against one another for attention and influence. And regardless of which came first, the chicken or the egg, consumer markets both respond to, and cultivate, this emphasis on females’ looks to the potential detriment of our financial and intellectual power.
So how can we, as women, do a better job of investing in our dreams, our talents, our education, our financial stability, our goals for the future?
Be more deliberate in how we’re organizing and spending our time.
Be more deliberate in how we’re managing and spending our money.
I am not suggesting that women give up completely the importance we place on our looks and physical presentation; not only would that be unrealistic, but it’s also wrong to imply that there is no connection between self-presentation and self-confidence. But when it becomes the only, or quickest, way to seek validation, it will not only suck away our dollars, but may also lead to an addictive pattern of trying to fill an endless void. Because even pretty girls, even skinny girls, get insulted, abused, told they’re not good enough, and excluded from higher positions of power and opportunity.
What I am suggesting is that we balance our values in favor of our non-aesthetic strengths, even when society pushes back on us. How much more time might be spent learning, thinking, conversing, taking action, if women reduce the amount of time in front of mirrors, putting on make-up, fussing with hair, trying on outfits? If instead of considering which toner or skin treatment will work best at reducing the (inevitable) appearance of wrinkles, might we use that time reading the local news? Building an outline for a creative project? Making a meal plan for the weak or budgeting our expenses? I’m not saying it has to be one or the other, all or nothing. I realize that women are competent at doing these things while also caring for their appearance, but when the scales are tipped too far on the side of vanity, we miss out on opportunities for growth in so many other areas of our lives.
Furthermore, consumer products and services under the banner of beauty and anti-aging—sometimes misrepresented as health and wellness—are expensive! And unequally so. Have you ever noticed the price differences between men’s and women’s apparel at department stores? And not to say that men care nothing about their hair and skin, but the amount of money women are willing to spend at hair and nail salons, when compared to what men spend in similar markets, is staggering. Perhaps it feels like a newer, more reliable vehicle is not currently achievable on your salary. Might you be able to put more money aside for a large expense if you cut back on your hair appointments or make-up products? Or saved money on clothing by tolerating a smaller wardrobe, using what you have until it wears out, maybe even shopping at thrift stores? When you finally get that raise at work, rather than celebrate by buying yourself a new pair of shoes, consider putting a percentage of that extra income into savings for an international travel to that destination you’ve been dreaming about, where you’ll be exposed to different cultures and new ways of thinking.
I know that it’s difficult to change spending patterns that are based on years of ingrained values and modeling that puts a premium on women looking younger than they are and girls looking older than they are. But some of these spending behaviors are done out of habit or because it’s what other people are doing rather than stemming from a personal drive or sense of fulfillment from acquiring and using these products. A little thought and consideration about doing things differently can go a long way. And not only will you increase your own financial power in the long run, but you’ll be helping the environment in the process by reducing waste.
So let’s ask ourselves: what do we value most? Why do we hold some of the values we hold? Is it because we were taught to do so or because we truly believe in the spirit behind the value? Who taught us to value a certain thing and why did they teach us that value? What might those on the other end of that value gain from our participation? Did the message come from a magazine, a commercial, a pop-star? Perhaps our own mothers, who were taught the same messages when they were little girls? After really thinking through the source of our values, take that next step and ask ourselves, do these values align with my morals, my ethics, my dreams and future goals?
I will end this essay by adding one more thought task for your consideration: Look at the cover of this recent “Girls Life” magazine, study the messages—and values—emanating from the words and images. Think about the messages you would most like to impart to the girls in your life, about their worth, their talents, their ambitions. If you could change even 3 of the headings on this cover, what might you change them to?
